Singles often wonder when they should have sex with a new partner for the first time, fearing that sleeping together too soon will mark them as a one-night stand, but waiting too long could cause the couple to lose interest. ‘other person.
Meet Tinx, the TikTok influencer who set out to solve this problem in her new book, “The Shift: Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself”. She hopes her “box theory” and other dating tips can help “rebrand” dating from “just a means to an end” to “an era of self-discovery.”
While the book’s target audience is women and the dating advice offered is aimed at women who date men (Tinx writes in the book that she “stays in my extremely straight lane and writes what I know”) , much of the advice remains useful regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
“My main message boils down to self-esteem and prioritizing your own happiness, so if that’s something you think you love more in your life, you’re welcome here,” she wrote.
In short, Tinx advises those who are dating “to act as you wish in the moment: if you want to sleep with someone, you should sleep with them. If you feel like waiting, then wait, but you shouldn’t hold back (sex) to try to manipulate how you date someone.”
Who is Tinx?
Born Christina Najjar, the 32-year-old influencer known online as Tinx has 1.5 million TikTok followers. The majority of her videos are shot casually, lying in bed or standing in her kitchen, holding a small lavalier microphone as she shares personal anecdotes and life advice.
Some online viewers compared her to a virtual “big sister”, offering advice on love and life. Tinx considers this role “a huge privilege”.
“I feel so lucky that people trust me with their issues,” she told USA TODAY. “I feel so lucky every day to be able to connect with these amazing women and girls who trust me enough to ask me these questions.”
What is the box theory?
Tinx first shared her “box theory” on social media in 2021, based on a series of “misadventures” and time spent “chasing male validation” in her twenties.
As she describes it, the theory is that “when a guy meets a girl in a romantic setting – like a dating app date or a blind date or something – he’ll put her in the one of three boxes: He wants to date her, he wants to sleep with her, or he wants nothing to do with her.”
She adds, “If he wants to date you, he’ll want to date you, no matter how you act, no matter what you say. And vice versa: if he just wants to date you, you can do whatever you want. better and try to work your way into the date box, but you just can’t.”
Although it may seem too simplistic to some, Tinx sees Box Theory as a “liberating and empowering” concept.
“You shouldn’t try to manipulate someone into wanting to date you,” she says. “You shouldn’t have to because everyone deserves someone who cares about them and obsesses over them. It’s available to everyone if you don’t settle for less.”
What is the inverted box theory?
While the box theory is designed to help people regain power in dating and identify what they want out of a relationship, the reverse box theory is meant to reign in hopeless romantics.
“A lot of the time, women will put men in the dating box prematurely,” Tinx says. “A girl will see a guy online on a dating app and think, ‘Oh my god, this guy is going to be my husband.’ … The truth is that you know very little about him. You just built this idea of someone in your head. It’s very important to wait to see how someone makes you feel and to wait. to see if it is worthy of entering the date box.”
It all comes down to value. Tinx hopes her book will help readers navigate the world of dating to find someone worthy of themselves, but also to connect with themselves and become “the main character in your life.”
“Dating should be fun,” she says. “It should be a fun era of exploration. A date isn’t a failure if you don’t have a second date. A date is only a failure if you don’t learn anything about yourself.”
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